5 Tips To Avoid A Nasty Divorce

5 Tips To Avoid A Nasty Divorce

 

If you are ready to file for a divorce and you and your soon to be ex-spouse aren’t on good terms, you want to be mature and hold your head up high to get through the process. You can avoid a nasty divorce with unnecessary pain and stress if you can focus on the task and get through things quickly. Here are five things you can do to have a more manageable divorce.

Mediate with Different Lawyers

If you can settle the divorce through mediation, you save a lot of money because you don’t have to spend time in the court room. Working with separate divorce lawyers throughout the mediation process prevents either one of you from feeling like the divorce lawyer is favoring one client, and your lawyer works to get what you want. If you can settle the divorce through mediation you don’t force family members, kids and other potential witnesses to take sides or get involved and things can be solved faster.

Prioritize Your Needs and Wants

You may not get everything you want and preparing for that mentally will help prevent overreactions and expectations. Make a list of the things that you need, and a second list of the things you want. List the items in order of priority and importance. Understand that if you get the items most important or needed, letting go of other items or things may be necessary to come to an agreement.

Avoid Social Media

Venting your problems to social media only ignites the tension between you and your spouse. Taking to social media to complain about your divorce opens the door for criticism which can upset you further, and it can anger your spouse and make them less accommodating. You also don’t want people to think that you use social media to react to things or harm others, because you made a bad decision at a lot point in your life.

Don’t Make Rash Decisions

A fight with your spouse, disagreement in mediation or another trigger can urge out anger, which causes you to make rash decisions about the divorce. Unfortunately, these can become a domino effect and lead to other poor decisions. Take 24 hours after a confrontation, mediation session, or before a big decision has to be made to be practical, weigh the pros and cons, and to make the best decision. This prevents you from doing things you regret or telling your family lawyer to take action you later regret.

Leave Your Kids Out of It

Trying to guilt your kids into choosing sides, or having them get in front of a judge to talk about the other parent can have negative long term effects on their mental health and it can put a lot of stress on the child. Don’t talk about the divorce in front of your kids at all, don’t ask them what parent they want to be with, or let them get away with things because you’re going through a divorce. Keep things scheduled and leave the decision making to the parents.

Every divorce will have ups and downs, but trying to get through the process without being petty is the best way to get through things maturely. Talk with your lawyer about what you want, and explain you want to avoid court at all costs. These tips will help you control your feelings and keep everyone’s best interest in mind.

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